Hello and welcome to The English Like a Native Podcast. This is the listening resource for intermediate to advanced-level English learners. My name is Anna and this week it was my birthday. Yes, I have seen another year pass and a new chapter open up. I am now 43. There was a point, I'm not sure exactly where it was, but there was a point in my life where I stopped wishing my life away. To wish something away is to focus so much on the future and upcoming events that you want time to pass quickly so that you can get to that upcoming event in a way that you're almost wishing that the present weren't here. So you're wishing away the present, the day that you're in so that you can get to the next day, get to tomorrow, get to the point where you're older. And many children wish their youth away. They want to be bigger. They want to be older. They want to do what the cool kids do. They want to be a grown up and have independence and own their own home and drive their own car and be in charge. So they wish away their youth. And then, at some point in adulthood, we stop wishing our lives away and we start wishing that time would slow down. And then we start ignoring our birthdays, ignoring the new age that we have to put on our forms when we fill out our details. And I don't know about you, but now in my 40s, I often have to think twice about how old I am. When someone asks me, it doesn't instantly come to me because I almost bury my head in the sand when it comes to my age. To bury your head in the sand is an expression that we use meaning to ignore a problem or ignore something we don't want to take responsibility for. Ground to bury their head in the sand so that they don't have to hear or see, or say anything about an issue. In this case, age being the issue. So someone says,"How old are you?" I have to go,"Um, oh, uh, 40, 40. Am I 40? Am I 43 or 42? Oh, hang on." And then I have to do the maths. I have to work out from my year of birth. When did I turn 43? If that is the age I am. Oh my goodness. So at this age now, I really have to just go with the flow, relax, and remember that age is just a number. Because I certainly do feel like I've hit a turning point in my life in terms of age. I always felt that over time I was going to get stronger, more clever, fitter, better at things. And now I feel like my focus is more on preservation. How do I stop myself from losing my skills, losing my strength, losing my fitness, losing my abilities? So, before it was all about development and now I feel it's all about preservation. I've reached that turning point where something really changes. You might even say that I'm over the hill. To be over the hill is an informal phrase that we use to describe someone who is past their best. If you imagine that growing up is like climbing up a hill, and then when you reach your peak in life, when you are the most accomplished, the most strong, fit, healthy that you've ever been, that would be your peak. And then after that, it's this gradual decline down the other side of the hill. So to be over the hill is to be at some point in your declining years. Now to call someone over the hill is... it's relative. I am over the hill to my children. I'm sure when they look at me or any youngster would look at me and say,"Oh yeah, she's over the hill. She's old." But to someone in their fifties, they'd still think I was a youngster. Or someone in their 60s might say,"Don't be ridiculous. You're in the prime of your life". To be in one's prime, to be in the prime of your life. To be in your prime is a phrase that we use when someone's at their best, in living their best years. So at some point in adulthood, during those youthful adult decades, twenties and thirties, that would be the prime of your life. To be in the prime of your life, not in the decline, not over the hill. But to be honest, I feel like I'm over the hill because, oh, my body hurts. I wake up in the morning after a good night's sleep and I don't feel full of energy. I don't bounce out of bed with a song and a smile. No, I groan and I moan and I slowly wake up and say,"Oh, is it that time again?" And I crack my back as I try to stand up. My knees make some awful noises as I straighten up. I stretch and my body just hurts. And then it takes me quite a while to wake up and then I have my coffee and finally I'm in the land of the living, but I still feel sore and unrested. So I don't feel like I'm in the prime. I do feel like I'm over the hill. How would you describe yourself? Do you feel like you're in the prime of life? Are you at the peak of your physical and mental fitness, or do you feel like you are over the hill? One huge milestone birthday in the UK is your 40th birthday. To turn 40 for some reason is this big milestone, and I think it's because it's considered by many the peak. If you are 40, then you have hit the peak, and now it is the decline. And everyone has these huge celebrations for their 40th. If you go into any card shop or any store that has a section that sells greeting cards, you can tell which birthdays are considered the milestones because there will be birthday cards specifically for those ages. And the milestone birthdays are 16, 18, 21, and then 40. So these are milestones, big milestones. When you turn 16, lots of things become legal, you are considered in many ways an adult, although I don't think you can drive until you're 17. I moved out of my parental home when I was 15, but I was nearly 16. But I had much more control over my own life when I was 16. And then I passed my driving test when I was 17. And at 18, you are legally allowed to do everything that an adult is able to do. Although there are some bars and restaurants that still have a 21 age limit on alcohol. So you have to be over 21, but in many cases, you can buy alcohol after the age of 18. And then 21 is that final move into adulthood. You are officially a fully-fledged adult at 21. And 21 is the age where everyone has a big, big celebration. Can you remember celebrating a milestone birthday? What age in your country is considered a milestone? For my 40th, I simply took a little trip to like a forest park that we have here called Centre Parks.We had a little lodge in the woods. My mother was there. My sons, my partner, my father, and we just spent a few days away. That was nice in the woods, went cycling, went swimming, enjoyed nature, and just enjoyed some family time. Turned off my computer, put work away for a few days and spent my 40th with the people that I love. How did you spend your milestone birthday? So we often talk about the stages of life and this is a new stage in my life. That's for sure. I think my favourite age was during that stage of early adulthood. So I think 27 was probably my favourite age because by 27, I think, I'd started to understand who I was. At 21 I had no idea what I wanted or who I was or where I was going in life, but by 27 I had a firm understanding of who I was and what I wanted from life. But also, at 27, I felt young enough and energetic enough to feel like I could take on the world. I knew what I wanted and I still had the energy to go out there and get it. Things didn't really work out exactly as I'd planned, but, you know, I've had an interesting journey and I'm thankful for every, every second of it. One big chapter change in my life, one big turning point was moving from general adulthood into parenthood. So my years so far of parenthood, this was a new stage in life that no one can prepare you for. To be honest, being a parent, you have all these ideas about what it's going to be like, how you're going to feel, how you're going to behave as a parent, what your child would be like, what your routine will be like, but you have no idea until you actually have a child, you have no idea what's in store and it's both incredible and horrendous all at the same time. I remember a few days after my first son was born having this awful sense of needing to escape. I think at the time I was suffering with a little bit of postpartum depression, which is a common issue of feeling sad that women have after having a baby. And I remember walking downstairs, going to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, and I just burst into tears because I had this overwhelming feeling of needing to get into my car and drive away from my house, from my home, from my family, my new baby. I just wanted to escape. And that made me feel so guilty that I had this desire to run away that I never ever had before. I've never wanted to run away from my life in that respect before. Of course, I didn't. I stayed. I was the dutiful mother. And I didn't have that feeling again after that morning. But it was a big turning point in life for me, becoming a mother. My priorities changed. I changed. I learned so much. My understanding of the world changed. My routine, my outlook, my ability, my energy levels, my sleep, everything changed. It was a big turning point. And so now in my 40s, I have more responsibility than I've ever had before. And I try not to sweat the small stuff. So to sweat the small stuff is to worry about things that don't matter. In the past, I always worried so much about the little things. Now, as a mature adult, just moving out of my prime, I definitely avoid sweating the small stuff. I worry only about the things that require my energy, my time and attention. And I try my best to be a good role model for my children, and I hope that I can preserve myself for as long as possible to the point where I am here, fit and able when my grandchildren and maybe even my great-grandchildren arrive. I think that's a bit of a push. I had children in my late thirties, so I will probably be a grandparent in my seventies, if I'm lucky, and then to be a great-grandparent, I'd have to live into my hundreds. It could happen, who knows? Fingers crossed. I'll keep eating whole food and trying to live a healthy life. But let's just try and make sure that every day we do live. We make it positive and meaningful and work to make other people happy, including ourselves. So there we have it, a little off the cuff podcast based on phrases that we use when talking about age. We had milestone. A milestone being a point that is marked by many people. So a milestone age would be 16, 18, 21 or 40 in the UK. We talked about life stages. We have childhood, adulthood, parenthood, or you might say individually motherhood or fatherhood. I didn't talk about coming of age. Coming of age is a phrase that we use when a youngster becomes an adult. So you'd say,"Oh, he's coming of age." It's not actually a phrase that we use very often, but if you do hear it, it's about that transition from childhood to adulthood, coming of age. I used the phrase turning points a lot, that moment where things start to change. When the tables turn, when you go from growing in strength to declining in strength. I talked about being over the hill, which is that informal phrase that means someone is old. I talked about being in my prime. When you're in your prime, you are at the point in life where you are the most healthy, most fit, most mentally capable. And I talked about age being just a number. At least, I think, I did. If I didn't, then age is just a number. It means that age doesn't reflect someone's ability or someone's energy. You're just saying that age isn't really a true representation of a person's ability to do something. So if you say,"Anna can't possibly do gymnastics, she's in her forties." And I'd respond with"age is just a number. Watch me do a triple back somersault. Age is just a number." And if somebody is over the hill, but they behave in a way that makes them seem quite young. Maybe they enjoy the music of the day. Maybe they're into music that teenagers are into and they talk using modern slang. Then you could say that person is young at heart, young at heart. Or you could call them a spring chicken. That's another little phrase that we use to describe someone who is young. A spring chicken. Although often it's used in the negative. So you might say,"I'm not a spring chicken anymore." When I get out of bed in the morning, I certainly don't feel like a spring chicken. And you may say that someone is wise beyond their years. That's a phrase I didn't use. But I tell you, sometimes my son Jacob, who's just turned six, sometimes he appears to be wise beyond his years. So, if I lose my temper, I'm getting frustrated because the boys aren't listening to me and we need to get out and we're already late and I've just spilt my breakfast on my blouse and I haven't had a chance to have a proper wash this morning and I'm getting stressed and they're still not listening to me and I shout out. Jacob would walk up to me and say,"Mummy, it's okay. Take a deep breath. Just relax. Everything's going to be all right." And I think,"Goodness me, how old are you? You're just six and you're being more mature than I am in this stressful situation." He is wise beyond his years. Okay. Thank you so much for listening. And until next time, take very good care, and goodbye.