Hello and welcome to The English Like a Native Podcast, the listening resource for intermediate to advanced-level English learners. My name is Anna and today we're talking about accents."I hate my accent and I want to completely eradicate it." These aren't my words. These are the words that I read in email recently from a potential student who is interested in taking my pronunciation course. And when I asked why, this lady is a native speaker. So I said,"Why are you interested in the pronunciation course?" And she said,"I hate my accent. I hate the way I speak. I hate the way I sound. And I want to change it." She'd heard that I have myself changed the way I speak, and she wants to be able to do the same. Now, I wanted to learn a bit more because as soon as someone says to me,"I hate the way I speak and I want to change it," alarm bells start ringing. To hate something about yourself, it's not a great place to be. We shouldn't ever really hate something about ourselves. There's usually more to it. So I decided to get on a call with this lady. I wanted to learn more about what was going on. This lady is from Wales and in my view has a beautiful Welsh accent that isn't actually that strong, but definitely very clear features of the Welsh accent in her voice, but otherwise very clear, very smooth and confident. And I said,"Come on then tell me. In your own words, tell me why you want to get rid of this beautiful accent of yours." And her response was basically how other people make her feel. So the first thing she mentioned was that other people mimic her. So when she talks to them, they start to mimic her accent. And her view, that was them making fun of her. So to make fun of someone is to tease someone. Because they were copying her accent, she saw that as a criticism, as a judgement, as something quite negative. But I asked the question,"Is mimicking somebody a criticism or is it a compliment?" Now I can only go from my own experience. I love accents. I'm fascinated by accents. And when I hear an accent, like a Scottish accent, an Irish accent, any accent, really, I'm always quite intrigued. And I like to try and do that accent myself, especially when I was younger, when I didn't understand the sensitivity that some people have around their accents, I would copy the way they talk, I would repeat what they said in the way that they said it because I really liked their accents. I wanted to take it off. I wanted to be able to emulate it. Of course, now I know that doing that in earshot of the speaker can be taken in the wrong way. And so you have to ask yourself, if people mimic you when you speak, are they teasing you? Are they being rude? Or are they simply fascinated by your accent? So you have to set your mind up in a way to receive it. I'm not in any way saying that it's right. But you have to receive things in the way that they're intended. I know from my own experience, when I used to mimic other people speaking, it was almost like a default reaction to hearing a fascinating accent. I wasn't thinking or trying to achieve anything. I just heard it and went,"Oh!" And I just quickly copy it. I wasn't trying to tell them something. I wasn't trying to offend them. I wasn't trying to judge or compliment or anything. I was just reacting. It was my default reaction. So I think it's important to take things as they're intended. You know, my children often imitate me. If I say something in a funny way or they're in a playful mood, I'll say something even if it's not to them, I might hear my five-year-old behind me what I just said because he likes the way it sounds. Especially if it's quite an advanced word, he likes knowing the meaning of new words. So he might just repeat what I've said in the way that I said it, and then be like,"Mummy, what does that mean?" And that's not in any way a judgement. He's just hearing what I'm saying and repeating it because he's fascinated by it. The other thing that's bothered this lady was that she said she felt judged that every time she opened her mouth in front of new people or people within a work environment, she felt like they were judging her. Now, again, if you feel this way, you have to ask yourself,"Is this based on your thoughts and expectations, or is it based on reality?" If you feel judged by someone, is it because they are telling you explicitly that they're judging you? Are they making very clear judgements or is it just the way you're perceiving them? We are all in control of the narrative. For example, two children, twins, grow up in the same household, and it's a difficult childhood, they don't have much money, or much of anything really, and so they have quite a difficult upbringing, their parents struggle and there's not much joy in the house. One child may see their childhood as being something that helped them build resilience and an understanding of how to cope with very little. They could see their childhood as an opportunity that they had to become strong. Whereas the other child growing up may think that actually I was dealt a bad hand in life. It wasn't fair. I am the victim of a corrupt society that led us to have nothing. And I'm going to feel bitter and negative about life and people. And I'm going to keep telling myself this story that's very negative and it's very different to the other person. So my point is we can tell ourselves the story that we choose. You can rewrite your story. You do not have to take a story that other people tell you or that you've already been telling yourself. You can reframe it. Here's an example. I, in my early twenties, I was a director for a short period of time, and I directed one particular play using some young students just coming out of college and I'm directing this play. There's six actors. They're all fantastic. I handpicked these actors to be in my play. And then halfway through rehearsals, I could tell there was something wrong with my cast. They were just behaving in a very odd way. And eventually, I said,"Right, everybody stop. What is going on with you guys? There's something is not right. What's going on?" And one of them piped up and said,"You're really not happy with us, are you? You hate what we're doing and we all feel really bad because we can tell that you hate what we're doing when we're on stage or watching us during rehearsals and we can tell from the way you're looking at us, we can tell that you hate us, that you hate our work." And I was flabbergasted because this was completely untrue. It was so far from the truth that I couldn't believe that that's what they thought was happening. Now I realise that what they were seeing was my concentration face. So every time they got up and practised, rehearsed their show, I was staring at them with my concentration face, which is not very warm. You know, I have quite a sullen look. I have quite a stern look when I'm focused and concentrating. And so I wasn't thinking about how I was being perceived. I was just really concentrating on their performances, which I loved. I was so impressed with my actors. So when they said,"Oh, you hate us." I was shocked. Like,"No, no, no. I wasn't judging you. I don't hate you. I think what you're doing is marvellous. You're just reading the way I look in the wrong way." So they had told themselves a story that was not based in truth, and that was affecting how they felt. It was affecting their performance. And if I hadn't asked them what was wrong, that would have continued to grow and become a problem. So, always ask yourself,"Can I rewrite this story?" This brings me to making sure you know your why. If you really want to acquire a different accent and I say acquire a different accent rather than get rid of your accent because I don't think we should ever remove a part of ourselves. Your accent is your identity, it's your background, it's your origin, it's how you grew up and all the influences that created you and the way you speak. So I don't think you should chop off your arm. I don't think you should get rid of your accent, but what you can do, if you want to, if the reasons are right, if it's because you really love a particular way of speaking and you would like to do that, then if you really do want it, then you can acquire another accent in addition to your own. So I still have my Northern accent. I wanted to change the way I speak because I had this idea of being a Shakespearean actress. I needed to be able to switch accents to fulfil different character roles. I also had a huge respect and admiration for my grandmother who had a very specific way of speaking, a very clear and confident way of speaking. And I wanted that. So my reason for acquiring an RP accent was born out of desire to have options. I don't hate my Northern accent. It's still there. I can switch into it whenever I like. I didn't remove it from myself. It's still a part of me. I just acquired an additional way of speaking and you can too. But understand that it's not a quick change. You can't quickly acquire, unless you're really skilled with picking up accents, you can't quickly acquire a very natural, additional accent. But you can do it if you're committed. If your passion for it is there, then it can be done. So how do you acquire an accent? Well, have you ever played Spot the Difference? I'm sure you have where you're presented with two images, and they say there's 10 differences between these two images. Can you put a circle around the differences? And then you have to say,"Oh, in this one, she has a different coloured coat on. And in this one, she has glasses. And in this one, there's an extra cloud in the sky." That's Spot the Difference. It's the same thing that you have to do with acquiring an accent. You have to, first of all, very clearly see your own accent, your own set of sounds, which will be largely unique to you. And so you have to understand your own sounds. That's the first step. And then you have to spot the difference between your set of sounds and the set of sounds that you want to acquire. So which vowels are different? Which consonant sounds are different? Are there any additional sounds that exist in the new set of sounds that don't exist in your set of sounds, do you have to learn a new sound? So, for example, you may not pronounce a TH with the tongue between the teeth. You may pronounce a TH with a D sound. You may say'dis' and'dat' instead of'this' and'that'. In which case, you will need to practise the/ð/ sound with the tongue in the correct position for a/ð/. And then once you're comfortable with making the sound, you have to start building a habit of putting that sound in place of your previous sound'duh'. Okay. So it's all about first training your ears to understand the differences and then practising the change, practising those different sounds. For me, realistically, it took me about 12 months to completely from scratch, acquire a new way of speaking in a way that felt quite natural. It continues to be something I have to think about and work on. It doesn't always go perfectly. Sometimes my sounds will slip back into my Northern set of sounds. But if you're committed, then it's definitely achievable. So to summarise, don't think instantly when someone mimics you that it's a criticism. It may not be nice, but from my experience, most people are simply fascinated with accents. It may be irritating. You may feel it's rude, but don't take it to be a judgement on you as a person. It's more a reflection of the fact that they don't have that social awareness. And it's probably more of a positive thing, showing that they are fascinated with an aspect of who you are. Don't feel like people are judging you unless you have cold hard evidence that people are judging you based on the way you speak. Don't automatically think that's the case. You control your narrative. If you walk into a room thinking that everyone is your friend and that you are fantastic, that's how you're going to see the room. If you walk into a room expecting everyone to judge you and to criticise you, then that is all you're going to see. So have the right frame of mind, think positively, and those positive things will show themselves. And if you want to acquire a new accent, it can be done. You just have to train your ears, understand your initial set of sounds and then put in the practice. Now, if you are seriously interested in making that switch, consider joining my Pronunciation Masterclass to learn more about exactly how I worked on changing my accent, and the things to avoid when working on acquiring a new accent. I'll leave the link to the Masterclass, which is free, down in the show notes. Until next time, take very good care and goodbye.