Hello and welcome to The English Like a Native Podcast. My name is Anna and today we're going to talk about how to sound more confident instantly. I love talking about confidence because confidence was something that eluded me for a very long time. I was unable to find the confidence that I so desperately wanted in my early adulthood. And it was crippling. It really was, especially as someone who felt like I wanted to fit in. I didn't like being alone. I wanted to be part of the groups. I wanted people to pay attention to my ideas. I felt like I had something to offer but I was scared to speak up and tell people about my ideas. I also, as you know, wanted to be a storyteller. I wanted to be on the stage but my fear, my confidence was crippling, and I found it really hard to come across in a confident way. I felt like this topic would be quite useful because it's not just a problem that I've suffered with. It's something that many of us struggle with. And probably even more so if you're speaking English as a second language. Now the specific problem that I've got in mind to talk about today that comes from a lack of confidence and also betrays us, shows us to be unconfident is the use of filler words. Now, you know the ones I'm talking about. Filler words like, like, you know, so, but also filler sounds, these um's and uh's, these sounds that we add in, they sneak into our sentences like uninvited guests and they make us sound less confident even if we do feel relatively confident. These filler words can make us appear less confident. So, removing them is quite important if you want to come across as a confident, an authoritative person. If you are a person in authority, you want people to respect what you say, you want them to truly listen to what you've got to say, then cutting out filler words is a very quick fix. So, we're going to kick them out of our conversations for good, or at least we can try. So let's first talk about why these filler words even exist. First off, did you know that they're actually kind of like a security blanket for your brain? Did you know that? Yes? When you're speaking, your brain is doing some heavy lifting. It's trying to find the right words. It's putting them together in the right order, making sure that your grammar's on point. So your brain is juggling a number of different things at once, and sometimes it just needs a break. So those ums and ahs, they slip out just while the brain is thinking. Your brain's saying,"Hang on a minute, I need a breather. I need a bit of space to figure out this problem or to process this information. Just give me a minute. Ummm." Here's the thing though. The brain doesn't actually need those fillers. You don't need those fillers. They don't really serve you in any way. Instead of leaning on the ums and the ahs and the likes and the you knows, try embracing the pause instead. Give the pause power. Realise that the pause is powerful. I know that silence can feel awkward. But there's a secret, a well-placed pause can make you sound more confident. And you have to really accept that as a fact. And the reason a pause is so powerful is because it gives you a moment to gather your thoughts. It also gives the listener a moment to take in what you're saying, especially if they're also non-natives. If your listener has English as a second language, then they need more time to process. So, giving a pause to your listener and to yourself is a true gift. It gives you both time to organise the information. So the next time you feel an um coming on, next time you know that you're running out of road, you're putting together a sentence as you're speaking and you know that you can't remember the word. It's coming up and you can't remember the word. Just take a break. Just pause. Don't um, don't uh, just pause, take a breath, and you'll sound like you're totally in control. Now I can speak from experience. I'm recording this podcast now without a script. I have no idea what's going to come out of my mouth next. And when I get to a point where I feel a bit lost, I just slow down. I take a moment. And then the next words, come to me, it serves me well and hopefully it makes me sound relatively confident. Now there's also a cultural aspect to this, depending on where you're from. Filler words might actually be more accepted and more expected. For example, in some cultures, a little bit of silence is seen as a good thing it's seen as a sign that you're thinking deeply, whereas in other cultures constant talking is the norm, and a pause can feel like you're dropping the ball, like you don't know what you're saying. So depending on where you're from, you might feel more or less comfortable taking a pause. But when you're speaking English, especially in a formal or professional setting, cutting out those fillers can help you to fit in. And it can make you stand out as someone who is clear and confident. So, don't be embarrassed. Don't be intimidated by the pause. Embrace it. It's your friend. Sometimes the filler words are about fear. We're frightened of being interrupted. Or we're frightened of losing our train of thought. Or we might be frightened that the other person might think we don't know what we're talking about. So it's like we're trying to hold on to the conversation for dear life. If you dare to stop for a moment, something dreadful will happen. This is what we're fearful of. But confidence isn't about filling every second with words or sounds. It's showing that you're comfortable with a bit of silence. It's knowing that what you're about to say is actually worth waiting for. So don't be scared of the silence. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Now, there are ways to impress upon the person you're talking to that you haven't finished. So if you are frightened that they will think you're finished and then jump into the conversation, you can do a number of things. You can have a rising and held intonation. So, if I say to you... that I'm not finished. So you see up there, I just said,"If I say to you," and as I said, you, I lift up in a way that is not complete. It's like I've just launched my words up into the air and I haven't landed it. That's the tune,"Da-Da-Da-Daaa Da-da." In English we tend to have, and I'm talking specifically about British English here, we tend to have this drop at the end of our statements. There are some exceptions to this, but generally, we drop when we've made a statement."My name is Anna.""Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh." We have this drop. Okay. So if you are trying to show that you're holding the conversation, that you haven't yet finished your statement, then lift it up."What I want to say is...""What I want to say is this." So by lifting up before your pause, you're telling the listener,"I have something more to say, wait for it." Just think about a ski jumper, you know, when they do those big, long jumps and they come down the track, they're coming down the hill in their skis, they are fearless these people, they're coming down, they're coming down, they're coming down. And then suddenly there's a ramp and then they just lift off into the air. They're shot up into the air, flicking up off the mountain. And now they are airborne and you watch them and think,"How on Earth are they remaining calm?" And they've just been launched a very long way into the air and they hold it, they hold it, they hold it until they land back on the snow. Well, that's what you're doing. This lift-off is what you're doing with your intonation to show I've not yet finished. I'm not yet at the bottom of the hill."So what you need to know is... you can indicate that you haven't finished simply by lifting your intonation." The other way you can show that you haven't finished is just to hold up a finger. Just one, just your index finger. Don't point it at the person, because that's indicating that you want them to talk, but just hold it up like you've got an idea, pointing up to the sky, then you're showing that you're holding for thought, and then you can land the next part of your statement. So there are two ways in which to hold a pause, embrace the silence, without worrying that someone's going to jump in thinking that you've finished. Try it next time you have a conversation with someone. Now talking about trying, I really do want you to try to reduce the amount of filler words that you use. I do want you to try to embrace the silence a little bit more, to add pauses into your speech when you're speaking English. One thing that will serve you incredibly well is to try recording yourself. So choose a story, something that you might tell about yourself, a story from your childhood, the story of your last vacation, plans that you have coming up over the next few months. Just find something to talk about. It could even be a fun anecdote. The time when your puppy ate something really important that they shouldn't have eaten. Anything. And record yourself. You can do it on your phone. There are plenty of places that will transcribe audio. You can pay to have it done. There are companies where you can pay just a few dollars to have a few minutes of audio transcribed, but there are also lots of apps now where you can just get automatic captions created and that will show you, that transcription will show you how many filler words you have in your speech, and in many cases, you might be shocked. I found that recording podcast episodes has been so helpful for me because it makes me acutely aware of all my filler ums and ahs and I'm now completely aware that I often say, so or now. And it's really not necessary. It's really not necessary. That's something that I'm working on. I even had a student that sent me a recording for a pronunciation assessment I was doing for him. And I wanted to talk to him about some of the words that he used. So I transcribed his audio and I was shocked, even though I'd listened to his audio, I was shocked when I saw it written down; how many filler sounds there were in his speech! Absolutely littered with ums and ahs and oohs and likes. So give it a go. I promise you it will be enlightening and it's only through realisation, complete understanding of what is going on now; it's only through that that you can then make a meaningful change. Try that for me. And then once you've got that transcription, and you've seen all the filler words, tell the story again. Use that as a script. Highlight all those filler sounds and filler words. And because they're highlighted, you'll know to avoid them. So read the story again. Okay, I'm going to leave that with you. I would love to know how you get on with that exercise, so please do. If you're watching on YouTube, please let me know in the comments once you've done this. How you found the exercise. And if you're listening through a regular streaming service, you can hit the link to send me fan mail. I read all the mail that comes through that link or drop me an email at hello@englishlikeanative.co.uk. Now, if you do need extra speaking practice in order to practice reducing your filler words in a more impromptu setting, where you're not prepared, you don't know exactly what the script is, you're just going to speak naturally, then of course, you're welcome to consider joining my Club where there are four to five classes per week and plenty of opportunities to improve your English. But if speaking in front of other people is still a bit scary for you if you still feel intimidated, then the other option of course is through AI. I don't know if you remember, but a few months ago there was the launch of my clone through Teacher AI. Now I'll leave a link in the description, but you can quite happily, for a very reasonable price, have unlimited speaking practice with me, or clone me at least. And I will even speak in your language to help you to understand some of the things that we've discussed in English. So go and check it out. I'll leave the link for Teacher AI and for my Club down in the description. So you have no excuse. There are plenty of options for you to practice improving your spoken English. Until next time, take very good care and goodbye.